clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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