my sisters under your porch take her home
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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