We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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