Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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