nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
