East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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