I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
