i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
