meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
