you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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