Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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