I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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