People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
