I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
