i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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