I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If I die, sorry about rent.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
