A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
