you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
