I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
