you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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