drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
