How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
