I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
