Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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