Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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