Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
