If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
