dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
