Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
