butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize