areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
