the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
no, he came in my armpit
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
