Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize