then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
