It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
