So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
