# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
