It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
