One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
why is half of my head shaved?
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