So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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