I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
