woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
