it hurts more in the daytime
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
