Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
