So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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