the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
