P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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