dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You can't special order awesome
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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