Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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