I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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