I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
