At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
