There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
