so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
