The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
