I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
