I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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