i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
