Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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