I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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