I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
