Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
