She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
